Christmas Must Go On.

This is the first for our family. Every year we always have Noche Buena. But this year I don't feel like celebrating Christmas at all. No gifts  for my son to open. No new clothes to wear. No extra special things. I am sad actually. Last Friday, 4 days before Christmas, my tita who lived three doors away from us died. Unexpectedly. She was still alive when we went to market that afternoon. Then in the evening, she was rushed to the hospital because she suffered a stroke and was in comatose. The next day she was pronounced dead. Just like that.

When Paul Walker died, I don't feel sad. I was shocked after all he was just 40? But when someone I know personally died, that's a different story. The death is too real. One day they are here with us, and the next day they are gone. Forever. Sorry is not the hardest word to say. It's Goodbye. The memories are even harder to forget. It's easy to say that life goes on but if anyone from my family dies, I can't even describe the grief I will be feeling.

But that's the way it is. God will take what God has given. When or how only He knows. I was telling my mother when I die I don't want a long wake. Just two days and bury me. I also told her I want to be buried in a memorial park and not in Tawiran Cemetery. Haha. Morbid. But that's reality. I don't want a sudden death. I want time to say goodbye. I want to prepare myself. Sorry. It's not the proper way to write on a Christmas eve. But this is what I'm feeling right now. Maybe tomorrow, I'll feel a bit happier.

But no matter what, Christmas must go on. And please don't post your greetings and I love yous in Facebook. If you can tell them yourself face-to-face tell them! Life is too short.